1. |
Don't Be A Pussy
02:35
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Offense sells tickets
Defense wins the super bowl
The agony of defeat
Will pound you in the glory hole
DON'T BE A BIG PUSSY
Stretch out those hamstrings
Be firm, never gentle
Keep your eyes downfield
Work on your fundamentals
DON'T BE A BIG PUSSY
Whatever it takes,
You got to be a winner
Protein shakes, raw eggs and chin-ups,
Breakfast, lunch and dinner
DON'T BE A BIG PUSSY
Win some you lose some,
That's the way the cookie crumbles
Make your old man proud
Protect your balls, don't fumble
DON'T BE A BIG PUSSY
Show me aggression
Get mad, get mean
Take it out on the football field
Whip it out for the prom queen
DON'T BE A BIG PUSSY
Whatever it takes,
You got to be a winner
Protein shakes, raw eggs and chin-ups,
Breakfast, lunch and dinner
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2. |
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3. |
ArmaKEGgon
01:15
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It's ArmaKEGgon, it's ArmaKEGgon
For your life, you'll be beggin'!
Don't puke - sign of weakness
Don't puke - sign of shame
Drink this Pabst Blue Ribbon
SIGN OF SHAME!
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4. |
Hamstrings (interlude)
00:40
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5. |
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COACH:
Bark bark bark! Ruff ruff ruff!
Go hit on that broad, then try to pound that muff
Take her to the club, maybe take her out to a show
Two rubbers, case of Redbull and a big bag of blow
JIMMY:
But guys, I get nervous when I try to act tough
If I pretend I'm macho, she'll see through the bluff
COACH:
Just relax Banks, steal your Daddy's new car
If she doesn't put out, we're driving to the titty bar
She ain't pretty,
She ain't pretty but she gets the job done
She ain't pretty... whoa-oh-whoa
(dialogue between Coach Simpson and Jimmy, Coach pressuring Jimmy to get his dilz wet with an undesirable skeezy)
JIMMY:
I don't want a paper bag romance
I don't want a paper bag romance
COACH:
They can't all be perfect tens, they can't all be fine
But Hot-or-not.com gave her a four-point-five
She ain't pretty,
She ain't pretty but she gets the job done
She ain't pretty... whoa-oh-whoa
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6. |
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7. |
NBA JAM
03:36
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I wanna jam, I wanna jam,
I wanna jam with the basketball band (*or basketball man, whatever works for you*)
Knee socks I'm rockin' - John Stockton
I pass the rock to Karl Malone
Just like how I pass the bone
Giving a big shout-out to Toblerone (*Tobin Simpson)
The Larry Bird of bass, just do it
Tried to put your hand in my face
and I ran right through it
With the slamming attack, fuck Shaq!
I hit jump shots with with my man, Vlade Divac
Right in your face about as hard as I can
You're a sorry, pathetic excuse of a man
I j-j-just wanna jam
(CHORUS)
Muggsy Bogues with the assist, you tried to slam but you missed
Damn a jump shot's all in the wrist
Sink threes with ease like Mookie Blaylock,
Tom Gugliotta ... so don't bother!
Basketball pimp - Detlef Schrempf
Supersonic, smokin' bubonics - Shawn Kemp
NBA Jam, blast from the past
I'm all about Genesis, can't afford Dreamcast
(More bounce to the motherfuckin' ounce)
Time ran out - the 3-pointer counts
(BRIDGE - NBA JAM commentator "here's the tip... stolen by Barkley... from downtown! ... Rejected! ...Oh my! Is it the shoes?... head-fake, head-fake... HE'S ON FIRE!")
(CHORUS)
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8. |
Pep Talk (interlude)
00:47
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9. |
GAMEFACE
04:52
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(Show me what you're starin' at!) GAMEFACE!
Offsides, I cut you down to size
Illegal procedure
Rush ya, crush your brain, leave you with a seizure
Don't try to drive away in your bitch-ass car
I'll hunt you down like the dog that you are!
I'm gonna mash your face in the ground
See you in hell before you get the first touchdown
I'm running deep like blood runs red, from your head
Spread-eagle on the grass 'cuz I checked your ass
Last picked, first to get whipped BOYYY,
Your booksmarts ain't good for shit!
COACH SIMPSON: Well, well, well... if it isn't little Jimmy Banks coming back for sophomore year tryouts. What you got to say for yourself this year boy?
JIMMY BANKS: Please sir! I have to make first-string quarterback or my father will send me to the Foster home!
COACH: First-string quarterback? You'd be lucky to make third-string waterboy!
JIMMY: NOoooOOO!!!!
COACH: You think it's a game!!!?!?
GAMEFACE! GAMEFACE! GAMEFACE! GAMEFACE!
Line up, ya punk bitches
Football is a game of inches
BOOTSTOMP! Your back's to the wall
What's the matter with you Jimmy - can't you catch a damn football?
BUTTERFINGERS! You damn knucklehead
I'll cut you from the team, then I'll stab you in the head!!!
It's not an illusion, stop the confusion
Cerebral concussion, END OF DISCUSSION!
COACH: Alright Jimmy, our QB just got ejected for whipping it out in front of the cheerleaders. Show me what you got boy - get in the game!
JIMMY: Umm, uh-okaayy!!!
PLAY-BY-PLAY ANNOUNCER: Here's the snap... Banks dodges a tackle! He's got a man wide open in the end zone - this should be an easy touchdown! Here's the pass... OH NO!!! He throws it in to the bleachers! What a piece of shit.
COACH: ...Banks! What did I tell you about your butterfingers boy?
JIMMY: I'm sorry sir, I was distracted by the cheerleaders
COACH: Banks, I think it's time for you to hit the showers
JIMMY: Not the showers! I still have a boner!!!
COACH: Strip down! You think it's a game?!?!?
RAPE FACE! RAPE FACE! FACE BOOK! GAMEFACE!
I think it's time for...
Sudden death - overtime! Sudden death - overtime!
It's overtime!!! It's motherfuckin' overtime!
I'm tired of losing, tired of last place
Show me your GAMEFACE!!!
(Show me what you're starin' at!) GAMEFACE!
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10. |
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11. |
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Darryl Poulsen, take a shot
Mix with Redbull, give it all you got
You take the Jager, drop it in
Slam it back, the taste of sin
Jager bombing!
Feel the glory, feel the power
Heart-rate jumps a hundred miles per hour
I take Viagra, got semen stains
I take no prisoners, love is pain
Jager bombing!
Jager Bombing gets you angry, it'll get you jacked
Where's that waitress? Let's bring her back
I need to wake up before I hit the ground
Night of regrets, bring on another round
Jager bombing!
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Vince Lombarrdi Toronto, Ontario
Blazing a warpath drenched in blood from countless victories on the field, Lombarrdi is a high-energy rock band that tells the story of Jimmy Banks and his struggle to make it on to the high school football team, led by the maniacal Coach Simpson.
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